the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Randomize
