WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
