I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize