I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
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and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
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After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
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