Plan B is the new Plan A
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
