Heybabeimwearingurpanties
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize