The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
