Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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