One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
