am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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