CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
