She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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