More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
