yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Walk of Shame today included voting.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
