I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
