I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Randomize
