Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
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