I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
