Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
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We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
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We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!