Please, let me fuck your mom
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice