Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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