Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
