Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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