I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
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For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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