My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Holy sore nipples Batman
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
we're so committed to being not committed
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
