Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
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Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
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he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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