glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
