Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
