I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
