Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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