Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
