i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
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It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
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Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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