Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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