Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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