My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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