i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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