Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Randomize