just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You need Xanax blowdarts
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
