I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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