I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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