the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
