Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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