Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize