and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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