woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
