Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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