She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
