So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Come see our sink grown plant.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
