Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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