I want to walk on stilts...naked
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
