I only kidnapped one of them. chill
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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