Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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