just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
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