Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize